Many of today’s teens are having sex by appointment. It can be devoid of relationship or even guilt. It is called “buddy sex” or “friends with benefits.” For many of you reading this it is not news to you, but what is it doing to the teenage brain?
What you may not be aware of is the fact that your church’s youth group may be a recruiting ground for this behavior. It may be hard to accept; but, you would be naïve to think that your garden variety Bible quiz winner couldn’t be involved in this kind of activity also.
Our sex-saturated cultural influence on the church and teens has made it frightfully easy for this generation to unblushingly raise their hands in worship on Sunday morning only to be fornicating in the church’s parking lot Sunday night. A Postmodern worldview now permeates, not only today’s American culture; but, it has seeped in and contaminated the church as well. Today’s kids are experts at compartmentalizing, not only their lives, but their faith and theology as well.
Postmodern thought has taught us that if it feels good it must be right. Remember Debbie Boone’s one hit wonder? In her song “You Light Up My Life” she sang, “it can’t be wrong if it feels so right.” Our kids have taken objective truth and discarded it for the subjectivity of their feelings. But, brain science has now helped us understand that this is long term disaster. Chemicals such as oxytocin in females and vasopressin in males are values-neutral chemicals that are released when intimate touch takes place between two people. It creates a bond of sorts. But, the buddy-sex phenomenon is contributing to the inability to bond after multiple sex encounters. It is almost like tape that loses its stickiness after being applied and removed multiple times.
This type of promiscuous sex is causing brains to mold and form so that they eventually begin accepting these sexual patterns as normal. As Dr. Joe Mcllhaney and Dr. Freda Bush write in their book titled “Hooked, New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children” – they state “for most people this brain pattern seems to interfere with the development of the neurological circuits necessary for the long-term relationships that for most people result in stable marriages and family development. The pattern of changing sex partners therefore seems to damage their ability to bond in a committed relationship.”
Consequently, we are creating a generation of moral Frankenstein’s and relational midgets who go from sex partner to sex partner. With every illicit sexual encounter kids engage in, they are losing their ability more and more to enjoy what God has created them to enjoy in a way that bonds a man and his wife together as one till death do they part.