By Trace Embry
Teens can engage in some warped behavior as a result of boundaries not being present in the home.
Today I highlight two results many parents face when boundaries are not present in the home.
The Connection Between Boundaries and Security
It is of utmost importance that parents grasp this concept.
Teens don’t just the need boundaries, but they actually desire them.
I have spoken extensively on this subject here.
They need to trust that their parents will enforce boundaries—and enforce them consistently.
Believe it or not, this is where their sense of security comes from.
Why Are Gangs so Popular?
Why is it that so many kids are attracted to gangs?
In a weird way gangs will consistently enforce boundaries, which equates to a sense of security and belonging to a kid.
This mentality is warped, no doubt; but, a kid’s thinking is often warped when we compare it to a mature adult’s train of thought.
Self Injurious Behaviors
Another common result when boundaries are not present is self injurious behavior (SIB).
There are millions who are finding justice by self mutilating or cutting on themselves.
Every troubled teen that cuts or self-mutilates does it for the cathartic effect it brings. It is a relief of the emotional pain and insecurity that comes from not having legitimate justice imposed upon them for the legitimately immoral and illegal activity that they have been exposed to and engaged. These activities often result from a lack of boundaries.
I have written extensively on this sensitive subject here.
What Can I Do?
Your child may be crying out for someone in authority to enforce boundaries.
In general; your teen needs someone who is older, wiser, bigger, stronger, and more powerful and determined to do right than they are to do wrong! This is where there sense of security comes from!
Their frontal lobes aren’t fully developed in their brains until they are 25 years old. They need and want help from authority whose hearts, minds, and spirits are developed enough to steer them in the proper direction.
How can you do a better job of enforcing boundaries in your home?