As a mom or dad, have you ever considered yourself a pastor or the spiritual leader of your family and to your children? From my experience, in general, it seems that parents have abdicated their role as spiritual leaders and mentors to the local youth group.
There is no biblical precedent for this as parents are called to be the spiritual leaders of the home. To be a pastor to your teen requires you to be a leader in all areas of your home–not just what we would define as spiritual matters.
I have heard it said; today, if you were to line up a pastor alongside a lawyer, doctor, bank president, business man, or a philosopher, the pastor would be the least respected voice of authority. Two or three decades ago, however, the pastor would have been considered the most respected, the most educated, the most trusted, and perhaps even the most intelligent of the group. He certainly would have been considered the most wise.
So, in your home, how do you become a respected pastoral figure that is able to lead your teen spiritually? How do you become the spiritual leader of your family?
We seem to be living in a day and age when kids need their parents most, yet, have them least. Just look at the latest statistics of the state of our “Christian” families. This sadly reveals a lack of integrity in our families.
In order to be the spiritual head of your household your integrity must remain steadfast. You must never compromise truth and honesty. Your teens will be closely watching your words and actions. If they see that your words are dishonest it will create a tremendous amount of insecurity in their lives.
To be the pastor of your home, and spiritual leader of your family, you must take an uncompromising stance on Truth and be sure to live it. Always be honest! Kids are starving for the Truth; don’t give them anything less–even if it hurts! This is what true character is made of. It is something the deepest part of today’s young people are yearning for, but rarely see in those in authority and from whom they are supposed to respect.
Adults today are giving them style with no substance, and ornaments with no tree to hang them on. Substance breeds security–while security breeds emotional and spiritual health. These, in turn, build character, which begins with the truth and manifests into integrity.
Your actions speak louder than any lecture you give. How many great pastors have we heard give great sermons only to find out years later that the pastor was involved in some form of a sin-filled duplicitous life? Do you think his words resonated louder to his listeners than his moral corruption? This same principle is even more true with your teen. Your actions will be constantly scrutinized by your kids. As parents, do your actions measure up?
For example: media seems to have captivated younger parents. In too many cases the obsessions with video games, music, and media entertainment speak a louder and more prominent message to the family than do the rightful voices of responsible mothers and fathers.
How can a teen truly grow spiritually when the parent is spending virtually all of his time engaging in some form of media–much of that time could be better spent nurturing and discipling his family?
As a parent, you need to ask: “What is my spiritual temperature?”
To be “hot” is to be passionate in your personal spiritual life. To be “cold” is to be lethargic and off focused in your spiritual life.
Do you attend church? Do you study the scriptures? Do you pray with and for your family?
Asking yourself these questions will help you determine your personal spiritual temperature. If the temperature of your personal spiritual life is cold, you can expect that you are not fulfilling your role as the spiritual leader of your family.
What are some examples of how you have helped improve your family’s spiritual walk?